IF YOU DON'T READ THIS BECAUSE IT'S "TOO LONG" IT PROVES HOW MUCH OF
A BITCH YOU GUYS REALLY ARE!

I'm sure that ALL of you have noticed that i've been moody and down(if you haven't noticed GET A FUCKING HINT!). those of you who care, deserve an explanation.

my life has been on a down-spiral course since december 2007.
i lost 7 of my friends(2 in car accidents and 5 in suicide)
then a couple months later i lose another friend in a freak accident.
as the months afterward pass, I get emotionally distressed and severely lonely
so i start looking for comfort in all the wrong places, leading me even further down the rabbit hole.
with my emotions and feelings jumbled, i tried to find someone who would love me.
it ends with me in tears and confusion.
my nightmares become more vicious and i don't get sleep for a while.
i lose my mind at the end of may and came back july 3.
i could not remember anything from the prior year.
i was brought into a new life.
i call people i know(or knew) and they act like they didn't care i was gone.
I go to metro con and i meet melody and become her friend due to her and i both being shunned by ASSHOLES.
i start to talk with melody
i open up and so does she
we both tell our darkest secrets to one another
AUGUST 4- my birthday party
i invite my friends including melody
we have a blast
AUGUST 7- at night melody and i confess how we feel
I became the happiest boy on the planet
as time goes on i feel better and better
until alissa reminded me of what happened the year prior
feelings of sadness and distrust start to erupt from within me
paranoia starts to return along with my vicious nightmares
once again i cannot sleep
it keeps getting worse as time progresses
I break and sprain my ankle before spring break
the pain drives me nuts
melody's mother accuses us of having sex
both melody and I are sent into depression
we are not allowed to see each other
i start to lose my mind
her parents let me see her at the mall for a couple hours
time progresses
i'm now able to see her 2 times a week for a couple hours
at school i get picked on more and more
i think about suicide daily then snap my self out of it
nobody at school act like they even care
melody's parents put all the blame on me
i am told at school i'm going to hell because i don't like jesus
i don't sleep for 4 weeks
my brain starts to break under me
melody and i both are left in pieces
I'm getting bored of the same old thing over and over
her parents say she is never allowed to come to my house as long as she's 17
her parents implement rules that make out to be no better than a criminal
one of my friends, codie, dies in a car accident
as all of this goes on, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS expect me to have a smile and be happy
you people barely even talk to me anymore, you don't even care
you've all shown me how worthless i am to you when i need you all the most
i think that can make a person a little pissed off and depressed(you'd fucking think)
so that's what is wrong with me ... you can wither ignore it like you have been
or you can actually give a shit and help both melody and I
that's all

peace the fuck out

~James Forrest Kelly~